March is a very significant month in my fertility journey.
I always reflect during the month of March about how fortunate I am and how far I’ve come in this journey.
In March 2012, I got pregnant for the very first time. It was our second month trying to conceive – when I found out I was pregnant I was like, Holy cow! That was easy!
Little did I know. Unfortunately, after my miscarriage and subsequent diagnosis of Diminished Ovarian Reserve I wised up and learned that my husband and I were among the 1 in 8 couples faced with infertility, and that infertility affects about 10% of the U.S. population. This is a higher percentage of the population than is affected with HIV.
But it’s not just an issue affecting the U.S. According to the United Nations, global fertility has declined over the last few decades and has reached “unprecedented low levels.” In 2015, the UN estimated that 46% (almost half) of the world’s population now live in countries with low levels of fertility, which includes all of Europe and North America, and many countries in Asia and Latin America/the Caribbean. Another 46% (again, almost half) live in “intermediate fertility” countries, those that have experienced substantial fertility declines.
In developing countries the numbers are even higher, with infertility affecting an astounding 1 in 4 couples, according to the World Health Organization.
Those are some crazy ass statistics.
My story has a happy ending, though. In March 2013, I conceived my son through intrauterine insemination (IUI). It was a month before my 43rd birthday.
my son Charlie and me, March 2016.
Yes, just a year later I defied the odds. I was an over-40 woman with Diminished Ovarian Reserve and who’d never had a baby before. I was told I had less than a 2% chance of getting pregnant and having a baby with my own eggs. I was told to have IVF using eggs from a donor if I wanted to have a child.
I did a lot to improve my chances of conceiving. I was already living a relatively healthy lifestyle, but still found areas in my life where I could improve:
- I cleaned up my diet, cutting out a lot of sugar and processed foods, eating more whole foods, fruits and vegetables, and cooking at home more than eating out.
- I started taking a prenatal vitamin, calcium and vitamin D supplements. Seems pretty basic but very effective in boosting my overall health. I wasn’t taking a vitamin regularly. I also researched natural supplements to improve fertility, and would have likely incorporated them had I not been so fortunate to get pregnant so quickly. They have tremendous power in helping us achieve optimal health.
- I read everything I could get my hands on to educate myself about women’s health, fertility, trying to conceive, and reproduction. This helped me learn how to track my cycles and learn about my own body.
- I got my body moving, faithfully continuing my longstanding yoga practice, and seeking out additional forms of exercise.
- I researched holistic remedies, including acupuncture, fertility massage and reflexology. The one that resonated most with me was reflexology, and a few months before I successfully conceived, began regularly working with a reflexologist.
- I started going to bed earlier and reduced the stress in my life. This is a hard one for lots of us. Our society is so busy that oftentimes the only time we can get things done is at night, forcing us to stay up later and get less sleep. I noticed that when I went to bed earlier I slept better and I handled my stress better. I had also, a few months before I started trying to conceive, changed jobs and my new job was much less stressful. I didn’t plan the job switch in anticipation of trying to conceive, most of us don’t have that luxury – but if you can find ways to manage stress in your job and your life, it will do wonders for your fertility journey.
- I set my clear intention that I would be a mother. Yes, there were times when I questioned whether or not it would happen for me. But the mind is a powerful thing, and I never wavered from my steadfast intention and belief that my husband and I would be parents.
I know I’m one of the lucky ones – I reflect on this every day, especially in March. But it wasn’t just luck, it took a lot of effort, persistence and life changes. I took some action, no matter how small, each day toward my intention of becoming a mother.
What are you doing to improve your chances of conceiving? Tell me by leaving a comment below!
Thank you so much for sharing and giving some of us “olders”,something most people don’t. Hope. Hopeis hard to come by. Few people can give it. But positive stories such as yours,inspire me to keep going on this emotional journey.
Thanks so much for reading Jennifer. I’m so happy that my story gives you hope. I firmly believe that hope can always be found. Trying to conceive as an “older,” as you put it, isn’t for the faint of heart. It requires strength, tenacity and persistence, as well as the belief and hope that it will happen. Please keep me posted on how things are going for you. I’m Wishing you all the best, lovely, in your journey. xo
Love this Stephanie, so many nuggets of gold here! I totally believe that implementing these tools increases your chances of conceiving (like a million times). Unfortunately this hasn’t been the case for us on our 5 year journey, and that’s ok. Hubby and I continue to transform our life each day and I know we will get there one day soon xox
I have faith that you will get there, lovely Rachel! I’ve got all my fingers crossed for your current cycle, I know it’s a big one for you. Please keep me posted on how it goes. xoxo
I myself was on the same road x had max little man max last July through ivf and to say we are blessed is an understatement x I did pretty much all the same things you did and am turning 42 in July x wishing you light and love x
Congratulations on your little man, Sandra! I’m so happy that things worked out for you on your fertility journey, and so happy that creating a healthy lifestyle helped you to conceive. Lots of live to you and your family! xo
I made virtually the same changes on my life as yourself e.g. diet, accupuncture, reflexology, removing stress, doing yoga and other low impact sports, improving sleep by having hypnotherapy. I also made sure that I drank more water at a tepid temperature so as not to shock the body and made sure I kept warm at all times. As a result I conceived first time using IVF and now have beautiful triplet baby girls born in October last year two weeks before my 40th birthday. I am truly blessed!
Big congratulations to you, Chloe! I love hearing your success, and that making positive changes in your life led to your positive pregnancy test! And you’ve reclaimed your health to boot. Your success is inspiring and hopefully your story will help others keep going on their journey to conceive. Big love to you! xo
Stephanie,
I feel as though this is an article written by myself. I have 2 children already but in trying for our 3rd for the past 2 1/2 years we have had 6 miscarriages. The first miscarriage put me on my current journey that mirrors yours (reflexology, reiki, Accupuncture, vitamins and supplements, whole foods diet and trying to decrease stress). I have been tested and found that I too have low ovarian reserves. Although it discouraged me initially, I have set the intention of becoming a mother for the 3rd time and know this will happen soon.
Thank you for putting your story out there as it is so important for people to know they are not alone. Miracles happen every day and our rainbows are waiting!
Oh, Erin, I’m so sorry for your losses! It is so, so difficult. You are an amazing warrior to keep going on your journey! I love hearing that you’ve set your intention that you will have another baby. The intention piece was so huge for me. And you’re taking action every day towards your intention through the lifestyle choices you’re making. I love this! Yes, we are kindred spirits!! Keep me posted on how things are going with you, I’ll be holding a good thought for you and your miracle-in-waiting! xoxo
So glad I came across your story! Gives me hope …. mind over matter for sure xx
So glad that my story helped you! xo
This gives me insperation, thankyou for sharing I am 39 not yet over 40 but I got pregnant a year in a half ago and lost my baby at 18 weeks gegestation since then i have not been able to get pregnant again。i have turned to fertility treatment witch i am told my out look is good but so far nothing。Reading your article has given me hope!
Hi Lorie, I’m SO sorry for your loss. Losing a pregnancy is one of the most devastating experiences, and 18 weeks is pretty late to lose one. I’m glad that you’re in treatment and that so far everything looks good for you to conceive your rainbow baby. I’m optimistic for you too! I’m so glad that my story gives you hope, I think that there’s always hope! Please keep me posted on how your treatments progress – I’m here cheering you on! xoxoxox
I will thankyou。I had to go off treatment this month because the clomid caused a cyst on my right overy so hoping next month it will look good。I am going to try using your methods。Thankyou!
Lorie, I had a cancelled cycle due to cysts as well. The break can be good for helping your body regroup and adjust to the medication. Good luck! xo
Thankyou Stephanie! xo
We were healthy fit people in our 20s when we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. Finally after 3 treats of trying everything you can think of we got pregnant with our daughter. It was a high risk pregnancy that we almost lost several times, but she was born healthy in December 2015! Infertility is a very difficult stressor on a marriage and faith is essential to move forward!
Stephanie, congratulations on the birth of your daughter!!! December babies are the best! (my son was also born in December) And unexplained fertility is such a mixed bag. On the one hand, you’re glad that nobody can find any issues that point to anything being seriously wrong with you, but on the other hand, you want some answers, and “we don’t know why you can’t get pregnant” is no answer! You’re so right that infertility puts a lot of stress on a relationship. It’s definitely one of those things that can either bring a couple closer together or drive them apart, and in your case, I’m glad it was the former and that keeping the faith helped you persevere. Congratulations again! xoxo
This has given me hope. I’m due to start 2nd ICSI with low egg reserve and partner low sperm. I’m 43 and had 4 natural mcs as well. My problem seems to be it sticking. Trying acupuncture this time round and DHEA
Lisa x
Lisa, I’m so very sorry for your losses. It makes me happy to know that reading my story has given you hope. I think acupucture will be great for you, it has helped so many women. Will you be seeing a fertility acupuncturist, a Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioner, or what type? Remember, just because you don’t have MANY eggs doesn’t mean that there aren’t ANY – that “M” makes a huge difference! How have you responded to stims in your previous cycles? Wishing you all the best, lovely, and please keep me posted. xxx
Thank you for the inspiration! I am 37, we have had one failed IUI and one failed IVF. I have been on femera for couple years and that was the only thing keeping my cycles regular. My husband(43) and I, started seeing a chiropractor that specializes in Wellness and infertility in January 2019. She talked to us about changing up our diet and our supplements as well as adjustments. She has changed the way my cycles go now! They are regular( every 30 days) and lasting 5-7 days! I haven’t had cycles like this in over 10 years! we are going back to the Fertility dr next week to discuss trying IUI again. We can simply not afford IVF again. So thank you so much for your inspiration again!
Hi Jamie, that’s so awesome! I’m so glad you found that chriropractor and that she helped you. Yeah, how and what we eat really makes a big difference – I think that maintaining a balanced, sensible, whole-foods based diet is the SINGLE MOST powerful thing we can do to improve our fertility. Keep me posted on how things go with your IUI. I’m rooting for you!! xo