Like many women, I spent my 20s and 30s being single and focusing on my career.  I was livin’ the dream – I ran marathons, did volunteer work, enjoyed exotic travels, had a busy social calendar, and reveled in being a single, independent career gal. Settling down and having a family was the last thing on my mind.

Of course, later I married, “settled down” and decided to start my family. I got pregnant in the spring, a few weeks before my 42nd birthday, the second month after we “officially” started trying.  I was ecstatic, but at my first appointment with the obstetrician, the embryo was too small on the ultrasound and there was no heartbeat.  I’d suffered an all-too-common missed miscarriage.  I was devastated.  I had a D/C and decided that we needed the help of a fertility specialist to try again.

It was like getting punched in the stomach when I got my results from fertility testing in the summer–blood-test-527617_640

  • Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH) : 16.4 (“normal” is below 10)
  • Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH): 0.15 (for a woman over 40, a “good” result is anything over 1.0)
  • Antral Follicle Count of 5 (“normal/good” is in the 12-15 range)
  • I was diagnosed with Diminished Ovarian Reserve, which is a fancy way of saying I didn’t have a stockpile of eggs left. My AMH result alone determined that my egg supply was “undetectable.”
My doctor said that I had less than a 2% chance of successfully getting pregnant with my own eggs and suggested that we go straight to In Vitro Fertilization using donor eggs.

 

I was 42 and felt like a broken failure.

In the fall, we started fertility treatments.

Even though the doctor had said our chances were very low, we did Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) because I didn’t want to undergo invasive procedures.

BBTMy first IUI cycle gave me a positive pregnancy test, and once again, the euphoria was short-lived as I suffered another early miscarriage.  The following cycle was unsuccessful.  The cycle after that was cancelled because I had cysts and raging hormone levels.  When that happened I felt like my body was breaking down so much that I couldn’t even do fertility treatments.

I felt like a failure as a woman because I couldn’t do the one thing that women were supposed to do. I started avoiding my friends with children because it was too hard to stick out as the childless one.  I regretted not settling down when I was younger when having a family might have been easier.  Despite not being overly religious, every night at bedtime

 

I made bargains with God about all the other things I would give up or not do anymore if He would just let me have a baby.

When the World Says,  “Give Up”,

But Hope Whispers,  “Try It One More Time.”

taking charge of fertilityop._l.;After my cancelled cycle I didn’t do fertility treatments for a few months.  Instead I focused on myself.  I took my feelings of devastation and hopelessness and channeled it into action. I incorporated more fruits and vegetables and whole foods into my diet.  I faithfully kept up my yoga practice. I monitored my menstrual cycles by charting my basal body temperature every day and tuning in to my body.  I researched holistic remedies that could give me an edge in getting pregnant.

To deal with my feelings of regret, I journaled every day, focusing on the things that I was grateful for rather than the one thing I didn’t have and desperately wanted. I took up meditation and focused on setting an intention.

Charlie collageIn the winter my husband and I escaped the cold and snow and went on vacation to Puerto Rico.  We talked a lot while we were there about the options before us – donor egg IVF, surrogacy, adoption.  We decided we’d try one final IUI cycle before exploring other options, which we began shortly after our vacation.

What followed in the spring was a positive pregnancy test, three weeks before my 43rd birthday, a completely normal and uneventful pregnancy, and the birth of my son Charlie the following December.

My ride on the fertility roller coaster was just a year, but what a year of intense ups and downs. The immense pain coupled with expansive self-discovery was incredibly powerful.

And now, not only do I have a child, I am a healthier woman with a new lease on life.  I’ve also earned certifications that allow me to share with you my insights, tips and strategies for trying to conceive.

  • Certified Fertility Counselor with Joyful Wellness Services
  • Completed Optimal Fertility program with Integrative Women’s Health Institute
  • Certified Holistic Health Coach with Institute of Integrative Nutrition

I’m here to help you navigate your path on the roller coaster and find the hope on your journey.

Drop me a note to get started.

[contact-form-7 id=”538″ title=”Contact form 1″]

Grab your FREE ebook - "101 Ways to Boost Your Fertility"

The book is loaded with simple actions (101 of 'em!) that you can start taking RIGHT NOW to dramatically improve your chances of conceiving! 

 

You might already be doing some of these things, while others you might never have heard of. 

 

You can take a few actions, or you can do many.  Or you can start small, and add more over time.

 

Whatever you decide, it'll have a huge impact on your health and fertility.

You have successfully subscribed! Head on over to your inbox and click on the link in the email I just sent you to get your ebook! Gmail users: make sure to check your "Updates" and "Promotion" tab.