In January 2013 I was waiting to return to fertility treatment after a cancelled IUI cycle a couple of months before. I’d thought my cancelled cycle would just be for a month, but it ended up being a few months’ break from treatment.
That cancelled cycle was the latest of my woes down the path of trying to get pregnant.
In the 11 months that I’d been trying to conceive, I’d had two miscarriages; a Diminished Ovarian Reserve diagnosis; a grim prediction by a fertility doctor that I had less than a 2% chance of getting pregnant with my own eggs; and a recommendation to pursue donor egg IVF as my best chance to have a baby.
I’d already made a lot of positive changes in my life. I had learned about my cycles through tracking my fertility signs. I’d made great strides in cleaning up my diet. I was moving my body through yoga.
Still, I knew that I needed to do more to approach my fertility journey differently.
I’d taken charge of my physical body, but hadn’t yet worked on my mindset. While I was optimistic that I’d get pregnant and have a baby, I still approached every month thinking, “God, I hope it works this time.”
My body and my mind weren’t connected.
That winter I turned to the power of my own intuition and imagination, to harness my dream of becoming a mother. In my mind’s eye I envisioned a successful treatment cycle, and meditated on this vision. I created affirmations that I repeated to myself daily.
This practice not only connected my mind and body. It gave me a sense of overall peace – I felt better about the process, and in my body. I was able to let go from the routine setbacks in trying to conceive. Connecting my body and mind laid the foundation for me to manifest my miracle.
I was truly grounded in the present moment, rather than dwelling on my past unsuccessful cycles or worrying about the cycles to come.
No longer was I begging God for my treatment to work. I knew it would work.
I had reprogrammed my subconscious.
When I ended up having to sit out yet another month from the fertility clinic due to a previously-planned vacation, I wasn’t upset. The change of scenery in sunny Puerto Rico that February was a respite from the snow and cold of Washington, DC, and I welcomed the time away from “real life” and trying to conceive. I meditated on the trip as my last hurrah before having a baby.
Two weeks after returning from Puerto Rico I got my period and started my 4th IUI cycle. I innately knew that this one would bring my take-home baby. Through the cycle I continued my visualizations and affirmations. I wasn’t surprised by the positive pregnancy test, or the uneventful pregnancy, which followed.
Creative visualization works.
[originally appeared at Circle + Bloom on 1/27/17]